Mmm, Pocky!
by Box
Summary: Hahaha! This is really stupid and insane (major OOCness), starring Schuldig, Nagi and Bradley-poo. ^___^;;;;


Mmm, Pocky!  
By. Bento Box  
11/13/01

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When Brad Crawford first stepped into the immaculately furnished apartment, it struck him that it was too quiet.

His first assessment was proven to be false when a sudden yell split through the apartment. Peering through his spectacles, the usual grim set to his lips took a turn for the grimmer and became--grimmer.

"Ahhhhhhh!!! Schhhuuuuuu!!!!!!!"

He reddened somewhat (although you'd have to take several magnifying glasses and maybe a microscope to see the reddish hue) and his specs flashed ominously.

He couldn't exactly pinpoint why the yell had sounded so familiar, but he'd rather not linger on the thought of Schuldig entertaining someone he might know.

"Schhhhuuuuuu!!"

His brow twitched and amazingly his lips became grimmer. Face set in a stony expression, he vowed to get the squeeze the German (NOT IN THAT WAAAY!!!!!!) into his schedule and have him neutered.

Not only did Schuldig bring guests over at all hours of the night, but he now had the impudence to bring them over in the DAYTIME! On a WEDNESDAY!!! Crawford's personal, "Peace and quiet with my cup of mocha latté or else ALL of you will suffer and face the wrath of my SHI-NEING glasses!"

They should have ALL known better than to disturb his time!

If there had been anyone to watch the American's face go from its customary paleness to a rather pretty flaming cherry-red, they would have said that Brad Crawford was on the verge of screaming and bitching his pants off.

Of course, that was just NOT humanly or logically possible. Not with Brad Crawford.

"Schhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!......."

If anything the moans were getting louder and longer, an almost pitiful tone rang with it, and Crawford felt the slightest tightening around his collar which only aided in rising another notch to his already boiling temper.

"SCHUUUU!!!"

The sudden shout bursting from his right brought Crawford to a sudden halt from his destination to Schuldig's room.

"What the..."

He pushed up the specs a bit and stared blankly at the closed door that led to the room that belonged to the youngest Schwarz member.

Schuldig couldn't be...could he?

Another vessel threatened to erupt on Crawford's forehead as several death threats and torture sessions flickered through his mind. Schuldig would die. No, dying would be too good! Schuldig would suffer and THEN go through more torture and more suffering and yet even MORE suffering and THEN he would die a HORRIBLE and PAINFUL death!!!!!!!

Crawford was unquestionably livid at the thought that Schuldig might actually be doing something to the young boy.

Death! An excruciatingly slow and merciless death....

Whhhhhhy hadn't his premonitions popped up this time?! If he could, Crawford would have sentenced it to a painful bout of torture as well for not having prepared him for this.

Opening the door silently and with the perfect face of composure (after all, Crawford still had a reputation to uphold) he prepared himself for a long and bloody battle.

"SCHULD--erk?!"

What might have been one of the most impressive beginnings to a 2-hour tirade that would eventually lead to a 3-hour torture session ended with an extremely unimpressive squeak.

The squeak instantly became an extremely annoyed expression of extreme annoyance. He was annoyed--anyone could tell.

"What. Are. You. Two. Doing." Each word was punctuated with a flashing of the specs, which seemed to flash brighter and brighter with every word.

Nagi twisted in his current position and gave Crawford a perplexed look. From Crawford's point of view, it looked extremely TOO comfortable, what with Nagi sprawled across Schuldig's lap and his cute tooshy sticking somewhat in the air. Above the slender boy, Schuldig gave Crawford a downright beyond impish smirk.

Wait, wait...did HE, Brad Crawford, just use CUTE and TOOSHY all in one sentence to describe NAGI?!?! Crawford felt a little faint but managed to hold together his composure.

He gave the duo his infamous "SHI-NE flashy glasses" glare. His eye twitched from behind the safety of their blinding clare.

"Nani?" Nagi blinked. "I was just trying to get my Pocky from Schuldig." He offered Crawford an innocent smile and smugly held out his long-fought for prize. "Want some?"

Crawford's brow twitched. Within seconds, and without warning, both Schuldig and Nagi were suddenly staring down at his prone and twitching form in shock and bewilderment.

Nagi looked up into Schuldig's face, his face pinched into a perplexed expression. "Was it something I said?"

Schuldig, knowing what had gone through Crawford's mind (he WAS a telepath after all), merely gave Nagi a (lecherous, heh) grin and patted the boy's silky brown tresses.

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Author's Notes: I wrote the beginning during my Creative Writing class. ;;^^ I think I've balanced myself out nicely, ne? From angst to sappiness to straight-out wackiness. And yes, I realize Crawford is just WAAAAY (Nagi too for that matter ^^) OOC but... nyah nyah nyah. :P

Bleh, just writing this story makes me wanna get some Pocky! And just FYI (For Your Information) Pocky is this Japanese snack that are stick-like "pretzel" things that comes pre-dipped in various flavors!! Mmm, Pocky! ^___~


End file.
